Chapter Fifty-three She woke up in a panic. Lindy sat up in their bed, panting heavily, eyes wide. She couldn't smell easily things that had been second nature to her - her bed, her scent, her house. She couldn't even tell that her husband was in the bed next to her until she glanced down and saw him sleeping besides her. Her body felt strange to her - static and unchanging. Or more accurately, unable to Change. Closing her eyes, she calmed her breathing, forcing herself to push beyond the anxiety. Centering herself deeply, she paced herself through the mental disciplines that were second nature to her, the ones that initiated her shape shifting abilities. Nothing. No fur, no fangs, no claws, no pain. Just a deep seated hunger she couldn't begin to identify, but was growing stronger by the minute. Nate stirred next to her, reaching for her, his hand encountering only empty space, and he opened his eyes to see her sitting forward. He blinked several times, then groaned as he stretched his limbs. Scooting closer, he placed his hand on her thigh and squeezed lightly. "How long have you been awake?" "Maybe three minutes." She placed her hands over her eyes, remembering now. She couldn't Change any longer because she was now a vampire, not a werewolf. Calming, her panic receded, but the hunger didn't. It was a sharp gnawing, almost a fever, something that she'd never experienced before. "I was just thrown for a moment," she said, laying back down beside him. "Mmm..." He pulled her close, resting his chin on top of her head. "You're going to need to feed tonight. Is there something you want to do first, to get ready? Maybe take a shower or just be alone for a while?" He paused for a moment. "I've got to warn you, this might get pretty intense." Lindy took a deep breath, snuggling back into his arms for a moment. "I think the sooner I get started, the better. But I'll take a quick shower first." She twisted onto her back so she could look up at him. "How intense do you think? Do you have any place in mind to...go hunting?" "I don't know. I was thinking of leaving that up to you. It doesn't matter to me where we go." He pulled some strands of hair away from her face, lightly caressing her cheekbone with his thumb. "Did you maybe want to start with animals? It might be easier on you." "I don't know." She reached up to stroke his lips. "I was thinking that maybe we should start with humans, and if I'm not able to handle it, then go to animals. Animals I know I can kill. People though..." She sighed. "I know I once told you that I thought I'd be able to do it no problem, because I have before. But now...I'm not so sure." He nodded. "I know that's what you think now, but you'll be able to do it. Without a problem. It's living with it afterwards that's the hard part." He leaned closer to kiss her forehead. "I don't regret Transforming you, Lind, because you'll be with me forever. But I do regret not waiting until the full implications of this hit you. I should've let you see me feed first. I should've explained everything to you. If...If you find you can't do this again, if it's too much for you, we'll figure out something else. I'll break into a blood bank if need be. I'm not going to make you do anything you're uncomfortable with." She gently continued to stroke over his lips. "I can't tell you how much I appreciate that, Nate." She pushed up to kiss him lightly before settling back on the bed. "I guess we should get up and get started." She nuzzled his shoulder. "Whose going to watch Liam while we're out? Bryn? My parents?" He let out a deep sigh. "No offense, but I'd rather we take him over to Bryn. I don't exactly feel like talking to your parents right now." He pulled back the covers on the bed, scooting over to sit on the edge of the mattress. "Besides, Anton might want to go with us. That is, if you want him to." "I'm not sure that's a good idea. Anton coming with us I mean." She frowned slightly as she sat up. "I'm going to be nervous enough with just you watching. I'm not sure I'm up to him watching as well." She sat up and swung her legs to the floor. "Do you want to take Liam over while I get ready?" "Okay." He grabbed his jeans off the floor from the night before, shaking them out and tossing them on the bed. He put on a clean pair of underwear before dragging the jeans up his legs. He watched silently as Lindy picked Liam up out of his crib, holding him close. The baby still hadn't quite gotten used to Lindy's new scent, as apparent by the look on his face, but he no longer tried to push away when she held him. Walking over to where they stood, he took Liam when she handed him over. "I'll be back in a little while. Take your time, Lind." "Okay." She leaned over and kissed Nate. "Give me about half an hour and I'll be ready to go." She smiled as he kissed her back before leaving their room. She took a deep breath and went into the bathroom to start her shower, attempting to mentally prepare. It was dark and shadowy in the park, nearly deserted, and yet somehow she'd chosen her intended victim. Nate stood back quietly, not imposing his will on her, allowing her to use her own instincts to choose her prey. Whether this would be a true kill, or just practice, was up to Lindy. Still, he stood wary, tensed, ready to intervene if anything went wrong. He wouldn't waste a second if he thought she might get hurt. Anyone who laid a hand her wouldn't have the chance to think twice about what he'd done. Lindy followed her prey with the calm certainty of a predator. This part was not so different than stalking a deer as a wolf. Silently she followed the middle age jogger, hanging back so she wouldn't be seen yet. She knew Nate was somewhere behind them, but most of her senses were focused on the man in front of her. Still, she felt blind, deaf, and unable to smell his emotions. Nate stepped closer, silently encouraging her. He knew this couldn't be easy for her. It had been so long since his first kill, that he'd almost forgotten how terrifying it could be. Even hungry, driven by a