Chapter Seventy-five

After some initial difficulty, Anton had gotten Max to accept the bottle he was offering. Bryn had said something about needing some painting supplies and wanted to get them this evening, even though she didn't want to leave Max. Anton had urged her to go out on her own, saying he could use the time to bond a bit more closely with Max. And it would be a bit of a test for the both of them. Making sure he was holding Max high enough, he fed his so, swaying slightly as he walked over to the window to see if he could spot Bryn driving up.

She pulled up to the gate at the end of the driveway, thumbs tapping on the steering wheel in rhythm of the Hollies' 'Long Cool Woman'.

It had been a good trip. Despite having to lie about where she was going, in order to keep it a surprise, Bryn felt better than she had in a long time. She'd gotten a lot accomplished. Carrying photographs on her paintings, much simpler than carrying the actual frames, she'd visited three separate art galleries, promoting her work. And although there hadn't been any promises made, she thought she'd made a good impression. She'd introduced herself, made new contacts, and got the word out. It was just a start, but that was better than nothing.

Driving quickly towards the house, eager to be home with her family, she grinned. If she could keep this a secret for more than ten minutes, it would be a miracle.

Realizing that Max wasn't interested in the bottle, but was still making the rooting motions with his head he did when he was hungry, Anton bit down on his finger and offered it. Max began sucking greedily on his finger. He watched his son's eyes flame, and wondered if that was how he looked when he fed. "Take all you need, Max," he said.

Petunia greeted her in the garage, the dog's coat smelling of clover and pine. Bryn took extra time to rub her belly, knowing the puppy was feeling neglected now that Max was there. Making sure the garage door was closed behind her car, Bryn patted her leg for Petunia to follow her and headed into the house.

She felt like skipping down the hallway. Instead, reining in her outburst, she hung up her coat and purse in the closet and called out, "Sugar, I'm home."

He stepped out into the hall to greet her. "Hello, my dear." Something was up, that much he could tell. She looked much too happy for only have been shopping. He hoped that she would be able to keep some of that good mood once he told her about the surprise. "Ah, Bryn, we have a surprise guest."

That threw her for a moment, but quickly remembered that Mack had promised to stop by during the week. "Okay. Are we going to need an extra place at dinner? I should probably get something else out for dinner if Mack is staying."

Anton shook his head. "It's not Mack, Bryn." He glanced at the living room and then back to his wife. "Remember how the Council requested to be updated when Max was born?"

"Yeah?"

"Apparently Lilith decided she wanted to follow up personally."

Bryn's mood shifted visibly. Frowning, she stepped closer to Anton. "Is she alone?"

"No, her assistant, Seth, is with her."

She looked down at Max, sucking noisily on Anton's finger, and frowned. She didn't want Lilith here. She didn't trust her, or want anything to do with her. But this wasn't her house alone, and she knew Anton's place on the council would end if they weren't within Lilith's good graces. She just hoped the woman would leave, soon.

"I guess I'd better go in and say hello then."

Anton nodded. "I've begged off showing Max to them until you came back." He looked down Max, who was starting to lose interest in Anton's finger. "But now that he's been fed and changed, I don't think we can stall much longer." He kissed her forehead. "Are you ready for this, my dear?"

"No." Still, she walked past him and led the way to the living room. Even though the urge to cross her arms in front of her chest was strong, she managed to stifle it. She even worked up a small--albeit a brief one. "Good evening, Lilith. Seth."

Seth gave her a on odd stare, obviously unaccustomed to being welcomed along with his mistress. Lilith, sitting up straight and rather uncomfortably in one of the armchairs, nodded her dark head and readjusted her carmine suit jacket. "I'm sorry, I don't recall your name."

Gaze skipping to Anton, Bryn was rigid with annoyance. "Sabryn Rudenko. Anton's wife."

"Yes, of course." Turning her attention to the softly grunting bundle in Anton's arms, Lilith raised a wickedly arched eyebrow. "And this is the little one. Tell me, what is the child's name?"

"Maxim," Anton responded with equal formality. "Maxim Luka." Like Bryn, Anton was trying to be polite, but more than a little annoyed by Lillith's highhandedness. He knew full well that Lilith knew Bryn's name. But he was very aware that she could have him removed from the Council at her whim, or even worse, allow Natasha back into the country.

Tapping her lacquered nails on the wooden arms of the chair, Lilith looked up at Seth. "Bring him to me."

Anton bristled at that slightly. "If you wish to see our son, Lilith, please do have the courtesy to ask us directly." Head of the council, queen of the vampires or no, he couldn't help but be annoyed by being treated rudely in his own home.

Lilith's brown eyes narrowed a bit, the shape of her eyes becoming even more slanted. She blinked at him twice, then turned in her chair. "You forget to whom you speak, sir. I hold more power than you could ever imagine." Her eyes flashed a bit, but only momentarily. "However, I find amusement in complying with your...demand?" She licked her lips. "*Please*, allow Seth to bring me the boy."

He took a deep breath, debating saying that he would bring her Max himself. But he was very aware that he was treading on thin ice as it was. Stiffly, he nodded his assent.

Lilith nodded, as if telling him he'd made a wise decision. Anton merely stared at her.

Swiftly stepping over to take the baby, Seth brought him back to Lilith and patiently waited for her move aside her long black hair before handing him over.

The Empress looked over the child with wide, awed eyes. She carefully pulled the blanket away from him with her long nails, cautious to keep from scratching his face. Just as Bryn was about to form a protest, Lilith brought Max closer and delicately sniffed his head. She closed her eyes, long lashes resting on her cheeks. She sniffed again, drawing in deeply, as if smelling a flower. When she opened her eyes to look at them, her irises were glowing amber.

"This child is part vampire.ÊÊHis spark of life grows deep, like roots in rich soil." She could barely contain her excitement and shivered visibly. She caressed Max's head, her fingers shaking. "You will be a prince among your kind, youngling. Millions will bow at your feet. And you shall have anything you desire. It is my solemn vow."

Anton tried to keep his unease from appearing on his face. It was clear the Empress was taken with Max. Perhaps too taken for their own good. Lilith did not make promises lightly, and he did not want to be indebted to her any more than necessary. "You are too kind, Empress," he said, trying to dissuade her.

"As long as I live, no harm will come to this boy. I will protect him with my own life, if necessary." Standing up, her long cape-like coat unfurling around her like petals of a black rose, she walked over to Bryn and placed Max back in her arms. "You have my word," she said, looking Bryn in the eyes.

Not at all comforted the woman's words, and even a little freaked out, Bryn held Max close to her and struggled with one hand to rewrap his blanket. She almost flinched with Lilith raised her hand and touched her wedding ring.

"Such a beautiful ring," Lilith said, her lips curved in a smile as she glanced at Anton over her shoulder. "I must have been feeling generous that day."

Anton raised an eyebrow. "I believe the red diamond ring is the one Ivan gave to my mother."

"And it was I who gave the ring to Ivan," the Empress countered. "Did it not occur to you that such a ring may have beyond the scope of his wealth?"

He knew that Lilith probably had know Ivan. But he never considered that their relationship could have possibly been more than a casual relationship.

"Indeed his first ring would not suit a pauper. When he asked for one of mine, I slipped one off my own finger. He considered it an honor for his wife to wear the ring of his liege...It is a pity he didn't have her heart in return."

"What do you mean?"

"Your child has his grandfather's eyes. Did you know that?" She stepped closer to Anton, her head tilted slightly. "Now that I am able to look closely, I can see that you do as well. It must have been difficult for Ivan to bear for so many years."

He swallowed at the implication. "I was a foundling...." The protest sounded weak even to his own ears.

"That is what you were told as a child. Ivan never told you the truth?"

He glanced at Bryn, holding Max and staring wide eyed at them. He looked back to Lilith, voice low. "What truth?"

The Empress shook her head. "I suppose it cannot hurt to tell you now, centuries gone. You were never found, Rudenko, for you were never lost to begin with. Your mother bore you in the very castle you were raised. Your family was not comprised of strangers, but of Katerina's own flesh and blood...and that of her carriage driver. The truth was hidden from you, as from everyone, because you were born of an affair. Ivan's wife had another man's child."

He didn't want to believe his ears. Ivan, his father, cuckolded? He a bastard? He wanted to call her a liar, that he had been adopted. But it made sense to him in a sick way. Ivan's disinterest in him until he had been attacked. Conversations between servants that would suddenly cut off when he was around. The sad, far away look Katerina would get at certain times when she thought he wasn't looking. "And what became of...the carriage driver?" Ivan was his father, not this stranger.

"I was never told that particular story."

Seth cleared his throat, and Lilith made a little beckoning gesture with her hand.

"It was rumor, at the time, that Ivan fed on the man," Seth said.

"You must consider his words as secondhand information, at best," Lilith told Anton. "My assistant was born many centuries later."

Bryn sank down into the chair next to her, her mouth agape and her eyes staring out blindly. [It's not a rumor.]

"In the years following your birth, your mother became even more devoutly Christian and sought forgiveness for her sins. She raised you to follow the faith as well, hoping you would not be damned by her transgressions. She begged for Ivan's mercy as well, never again speaking of the man she thought she once loved. And she took a vow of chastity that she kept until she died. Despite my friendship and loyalty to Ivan, I had to concede to how incredible a woman Katerina was."

He stood there, shell-shocked at the revelation. He didn't want to look at Bryn for fear of saying something that would tip off Lilith to Bryn's past lives, something that he didn't want revealed. It was almost too much for him to process. He had always thought that Ivan and Katerina had a loving relationship. Had he been that blind?

"I can see this news has upset you. That was not my intention. With your child being of such importance, knowing your lineage is a valuable thing. I only wish I'd taken notice of your true father's parentage." Lilith gestured Seth over to her, accepting her fur-trimmed gloves from him and pulling them on. "This evening is coming to an end so quickly. I do wish we'd had more time, but I am due in Charlotte tomorrow night. Seth, the card."

Her assistant quickly removed a business-sized card from his inner suit jacket pocket, placing it in Anton's numb hand.

"All of my numbers are listed on that card," she said. "Should you require *anything* I will be in touch as soon as I receive your message."

"Do not lose or abuse the use of this card, Mr. Rudenko," Seth said. "It isn't given to just anyone."

Lilith nodded, taking one last look at Max as she spoke to Bryn. "Should you feel you need them, I will have someone here to watch your house immediately. They are discreet, and will not be seen...either by you or anyone who poses a threat to you. Your son will be safe, you can be sure."

Anton nodded, slipping the card into his pocket. "The werewolves who live on the property as well also patrol nightly. They should be warned made aware of that, and that the fact that they are the only werewolves to be trusted." He could focus on security, on Bryn, on Max. But he wanted Lilith to leave before he started processing what she said.

Lilith gave a small nod. "In such a case, I will need the name and photograph of everyone on the property, man and wolf. You may make those arrangements with my secretary." She crouched slightly, allowing Seth to place her mink Cossack hat. "I thank you both for your hospitality. Now, if you'll excuse me, I really must go."

Anton nodded once. He guided his guests to the front door, politely opening it for them. "Good evening, Anton. Sabryn," Lilith said before passing through it.

"Good evening, Lilith, Seth." Anton closed the door once Seth exited, relieved that they were gone now. He took a deep breath, trying to still keep his composure. [Why did they lie to me? Why didn't they tell me the truth?] He slowly turned and looked at Bryn and Max. [And how much does she remember?]

Bryn kissed Max's head, his soft brown hair tickling her lips. She couldn't imagine ever lying to her child. But then, she had been someone else. And she barely knew Katerina of Novgorod at all. Looking up at Anton, she saw how lost and dubious he appeared. She wished she knew the answers he needed.

"Are you all right?"

"No," he said shakily. He walked over to Bryn and put his arm around her, just needing to be touched and reassured. "I never even suspected..." He trailed off, biting his lip. "Some things, things said, things done, now make sense, but I had no idea..." He hung his head. "I thought I knew them."

She laid Max down on chair, propping him up a bit with a pillow, then turned around to wrap her arms around Anton. Coaxing him to lay his head on her shoulder, as he knelt before her, she kissed the top of his head. "I'm sorry, sugar. You shouldn't have had to find out that way. It wasn't any of Lilith's business."

Anton pushed his head against her shoulder, tears starting to flow. "But why didn't they tell me? I deserved to know the truth, didn't I?" Sliding a little lower, he rested his head in her lap. "I know it shouldn't change anything about who I am, but I can't feel that something has. And I can't help but feel that I was robbed of something."

She gently stroked his hair, bending over him protectively. "I don't know, Anton. I wish I could tell you why, but I don't remember. I only know she was telling you the truth." Her heart squeezed painfully as he shuddered against her. "You haven't lost anything, sugar. You once thought that you were abandoned...that the people you were born to didn't want you or love you. And you always knew that Katerina and Ivan did love you. That's still the same. She did love you. *I* loved you, so much."

He squeezed his arms around her waist. He looked up at her face, tears streaking his. "I don't understand." He pushed off his knees to sit on the couch beside her. "I never even thought that Mother and Father weren't sleeping together Never even caught on to the fact. I just feel like I don't know them anymore." He put his arms around her shoulders, leaning over to rest his cheek on top of her head. "And I don't know why it hurts so much now, a millennium after the fact."

She quietly rubbed his back, unsure of what to say. "Anton, they were trying to protect you. She was trying to give you a good life and a protective home. She made a vow of chastity just to prove she could be trusted--so Ivan wouldn't throw the both of you into the cold. Or worse yet, kill her before you could even be born. And if she kept that vow after you were grown, doesn't that mean that part of her loved Ivan? Does it really matter if they shared a bed or not if they truly loved each other?"

"But did she love him? Or was it fear?" He rubbed one hand along her arm. "I tried to model my relationships after them, after how Father treated Mother. I know he must have loved her."

"I don't know, Anton." She kissed his forehead. "I just wish I could tell you."

Anton kissed her forehead, letting his lips linger against her skin. "Maybe it has to do with Gisele. It was obvious that they were sleeping together." he rested his cheek against her hair again. "I wish I could have ten minutes with Mother. Just so I could ask her why. Lilith said that it was to avoid any taint on my future from my parentage, but I can't help but wonder if there was more. If it was because Ivan was a vampire. If she even knew before she married him what he was."

She wrapped her arms tightly around him again, feeling like an absolute failure. A whore. [Twice I have betrayed my husband, and bore my lover's children. It will be a miracle if he still has faith in me.]

"I wish I knew."

He held on to her tight. "It's not your fault, Bryn," he said, as if picking up on her unspoken thought. She felt guilty about Alexandra, and he guessed he would feel guilty about Katerina as well. "If Katerina hadn't had an affair, I never would have been." He gently stroked her back. "It's not her infidelity that bothers me, Bryn. "It's the fact that both of them didn't tell me, both Mother and Father." He nuzzled her cheek. "I don't want you blaming yourself now for something you did in another lifetime."

She rested her forehead against his shoulder, looking down at her lap. "I just...I hate hearing about all of these things I did to hurt you. And how I lied to you." She shivered slightly. "And there's nothing I can do to help you when you're hurting, and I hate that, too--" As Max let out a wail, she sat up abruptly and then hurried over to where he was laying. Picking him up carefully, tucking his sock-clad little feet close to her body, she rewrapped his blanket, tucking him tight to her body heat. She looked back at Anton, eyes large with sadness. "I'm sorry, but I think he needs to be changed. I should take him upstairs."

"Let's both take him upstairs." He wasn't going to let her withdraw in pain. Not when he needed her. As they walked towards the stairs, he placed his arm around her shoulders. "And you do help me when I'm hurting, Bryn, even though you don't seem to think so. You hold me and stroke me and remind me how much you love me. And that does ease the pain. More so than you seem to know, Bryn."

She let out a shuddering sigh, leaning her head against his shoulder as they walked up the stairs. They were both quiet until behind their closed bedroom doors, careful to keep from waking Bryn's parents. Bryn quickly took care of Max's diaper, kissing the baby's feet, hoping she didn't make the same mistakes with him that she once had to Anton in another life.

Once Max was dressed in some cozy gray flannel pajamas, like a little sweatshirt set, she brought him over to the bed where Anton had laid down. Settling onto the bed opposite him, she set Max between them and met Anton's gaze.

"I'm sorry that I'm making you worry about me. That's not what I meant to do at all. You already have your own worries, and I'm trying to comfort you the best that I can. If I'm upset, it's because I wish I could do more."

"You do plenty, Bryn." He caught her hand and gently ran his thumb over the back of it. "Remember once I called you my sunshine? That is still true. You comfort me when I sad. Put me back in line when I'm unreasonably upset. Laugh with me when I'm happy. You are my best friend, Bryn. Even though I don't tell you often enough. And I love you so much."

She scooted a bit closer, reaching out to kiss him. Little more than pressing her lips to his, for now, but she lingered there for a long time, her hand cupping his jaw as she stroked his cheek with her thumb. Eventually she pulled back an inch and sniffled. "I love you, too, sugar."

She looked down at Max, stroking his cheek and letting him wrap his fist around her finger. "Anton, even if you were born to Katerina and some other man, instead of two strangers, that doesn't make you any less Ivan's son. And even if Katerina didn't love Ivan, that doesn't make you any less his son, either. They both loved you, so much, and you *knew* that. That's what really matters."

"You're right, Bryn." He gently stroked her cheek, and then stroked Max's. He smiled as his son turned his head to follow his touch. "See? You just reminded me of the important thing. That they both loved me. Just like we love Max." He brushed his lips over the top of Max's head and then over Bryn's. "Thank you, my dear."

They took her parents to the airport the next evening, Anton's Jaguar filled to capacity with people, luggage, and conversation. It was hard to imagine it, but Bryn realized that she was really going to miss them. In the few days her Mother had been around, she felt like she'd learned so much. Sometimes pushy, but mostly concerned, Bernadette showed the correct way to clean Max's umbilical cord, how to nurse him while keeping her hands free just in case she needed to do two things at once, what to do if she ever ran out of diapers. And she'd always been around to watch over the baby when she or Anton needed a moment to unwind. Not to mention that Steven hadn't said a word about vampirism--a minor miracle in itself.

Now, walking down the terminal to their flight gate, Bryn felt an irrational surge of panic. Logically she knew her mother wasn't the only thing keeping her from making a major mistake, but her logic wasn't in control.

With Max in a carrier in front of her, she held on to Anton's hand tightly. "I hope you guys have a safe flight. I would think you would, with all of this security, but...well, keep your eye out just in case."

"Yes, please be careful," Anton added. "Thank you for coming. Bryn and both appreciated it more than we can say." He squeezed Bryn's hand. It had been good that Bryn's mother had bee there to reassure her. And also for him to get to know them better and vice versa. They were trying to be understanding about his and Max's vampirism, and Anton was deeply touched by the effort that he knew must have been difficult for them.

"We'll be careful, and thanks for having us," Steven said, as Bernadette grabbed Anton and hugged him. He shook his head slightly as she lifted up on her tip-toes to kiss Anton's cheek--looking so much like Bryn had the previous day. Turning his attention back to Bryn and Max, Steven ruffled his grandson's hair, before car