Chapter Eighty-six She sat at the table, quietly eating her mint chocolate chip ice cream and occasionally offering a bite to the baby. Although it might not be good for him, he certainly liked it. The thin slivers of chocolate melted on his tongue, turning his lips slippery brown. Turning the page in her magazine, Sabryn tried not to notice what time it was. Tonight would be her first meeting with Mr. Mulder (or was it Dr. Mulder?). As soon as he finished his session with Lindy, and then took some time to write some notes, he would arrive to psychoanalyze her. She wasn't exactly looking forward to it. "You like that, don't you, Max?" She grinned when he smiled at her, his tiny little vampire teeth showing. "You're getting so big. I bet one day you'll be as tall as Daddy. If you get any taller, I'll have to get out a stepladder just to hug you." Finishing her ice cream, she saved one last bite for him. Then she wiped off his face with a paper towel and put her bowl in the sink. Picking the baby up out of his modified high chair, she kissed him noisily on his cheek until he squirmed and let out a happy squeal. Mulder was standing outside, getting ready to let whoever in the house know that he was here. He knew that Anton was at his business early in the evening, and he wasn't certain that the vampire was back yet. To be honest, he wanted to start out talking to one of them alone at first. Vampires, aliens, werewolves, past lives - all he needed was an out of body experience and all of the X-Files would be covered. It would all be too much to handle at once. Plus he had the feeling that while the werewolves trusted him, the vampires were still very wary. If he wanted to get answers to his questions, he'd have to take things slow. Taking a breath, he knocked on the door and waited. Inside the house, Sabryn took a deep breath of her own. Holding Max under one arm like a football, a position he seemed to favor for some reason, she opened the door. "Hello, Mr. Mulder. Come in, please." He cast a glance at the bundle under her arm before smiling at her. "Thank you. I was hoping we could talk alone for a few minutes, if your husband doesn't mind." "That's fine...he's not even home yet." Pulling the baby upright, she led Mulder into the living room. "Is this okay?" "Yes, it's perfect. Go ahead and take a seat wherever you're comfortable." Swallowing, she took a seat on the couch next to where she'd laid Max's blanket. She could easily smell Anton on this couch, and it soothed her. "Is it all right if he sits in my lap?" Mulder nodded. "He's a very cute baby." "Thank you." "Have you noticed your mood changing since you had him?" "Um...a little, I guess. I think I'm a bit calmer...but I guess you'd really have to ask Anton or someone else about that. I think most of the changes came when I was pregnant. I became a hormonal wreck, crying my eyes out one minute and yelling in the next." "Has that settled down since he was born?" "Um, I think so. But lately it feels like it's flaring up again." "Is there any chance that you're pregnant again?" She shook her head. "I'm not sure, but I think it's too soon. With Max still nursing." She blushed slightly after that last sentence, although she couldn't quite say why. "Okay. Mrs. Rudenko, have you had any suicidal or homicidal thoughts?" "You call me Bryn." "Okay." "I haven't thought about killing anyone...well, unless they're threatening me, but no one has done that in a long time." "And suicide?" She lowered her gaze, playing with Max's fingers. She wished he hadn't asked her that question. Any other question but that one. Sabryn nodded, pulling in a shuddering breath. "How recently?" "Last year. When Anton and I were apart for so long." Mulder didn't let his concern show on his face, but tried to keep his professional detachment. He hadn't expected anything so serious. "Did you ever discuss those feelings with...anyone?" He almost said 'your husband,' but thought it would be easier to keep things open for the moment. She shook her head again. "No, because I didn't want to go to the hospital, and I knew they might take me there if I did." "Have you thought about suicide recently?" "No. Even if our marriage ever ended, I'd rather love Anton and Max from afar than not have them at all." Swallowing heavily, she added, "Plus, I'm too chicken to kill myself. It would probably hurt." Anton stood just inside of the hallway, listening quietly, biting his lower lip. He had known that things were difficult when they were apart, but he hadn't realized that Bryn had been contemplating suicide. [How could I have missed that?] he thought. He didn't trust himself to be able to walk into the living room just yet. "Do you believe that your marriage will end?" Mulder asked. "Has your husband given you any indication that he's planning on leaving you? And why do you think he'd automatically end up with custody of your son?" "Because I wouldn't take Max from him. I'd never do that, and I've told him so." She wiped at her face, looking back down at her baby. "And no, Anton hasn't said anything about leaving. He says just the opposite, that he'll stay forever." "Why don't you believe him?" Her reply was very quiet, barely audible. "No one would want to be with me forever." "That's not true," Anton said, stepping into the living room. He couldn't keep quiet any longer. "Mr. Rudenko, thank you for joining us," Mulder said. "I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who listens in on other people's conversations. How long have you been standing there?" Anton ignored Mulder's sarcasm, focused instead on Bryn's pain. "Long enough." She wanted to glare at him, but she couldn't work up the nerve. Instead, she looked up at him in silent apology, holding out her hand, sorry he'd had to hear that. She always felt so ashamed for talking about her marriage ending in front of Anton. She didn't want to hurt his feelings, even though she knew she already had. Maybe irreparably. It wasn't his fault she thought this way. He did everything he could to make her believe him, loved her, comforted her, and promised his devotion over and over again. Listening to her deny it had to be a hard slap in the face. "I'm sorry," she finally whispered, reaching for him. Anton took her hand and gently squeezed it, sitting down on the couch next to her. "It's okay. I shouldn't have listened in." Now that he was here, he hoped that she'd still be able to talk freely and openly. Mulder surveyed the two. "You act like you've heard this before, Mr. Rudenko." Anton nodded. "All the way back to the first night we met. It seems to get better for a while, and when I think I've convinced her that I will always love her, it starts again." Bryn turned her gaze away from both of them. She hadn't known Anton was counting back that far...but he was right. She never truly had believed him. [God, how he must hate that.] She shuddered before sniffling. "This is when I fear him leaving more than ever...when he realizes how much crap I put him through. When he's reminded that we've been together for almost a year and I still don't believe him. And also when he realizes that it has been almost a year, and if I've gone this crazy already, what on God's earth am I going to be like five or ten years from now, let alone a millennium or more." "And how does that make you feel, Mr. Rudenko." "You may call me Anton," he said, not particularly wanting the familiarity with the former FBI agent, but calling him 'Mr. Rudenko' in this setting was getting irritating to him. "I feel like I'm hitting my head against a brick wall, that there must be something that I am doing that makes her not believe. Or something I'm not doing. And for the life of me, I can't figure it out. But I'm not going to stop until I do." He sounded annoyed and frustrated, and she couldn't blame him. She let go of his hand, wrapping her arm back around Max like it had been. She couldn't look at him anymore. "Anton, do you know what Bryn's life was like growing up?" When Anton nodded, Mulder added, "Could you describe it for me?" "Very lonely." He took a deep breath and continued. "I know that no one believed her when she said that she was abducted by aliens. I didn't believe her at first." "But you do now?" "Yes. I also know her parents rarely showed her any affection. And that she moved in with her brother when she was...seventeen?" Sabryn nodded. "Why did you move, Bryn?" Mulder asked. "I couldn't handle the way they treated me." Before he could ask, she said, "They ignored me as much as possible, but when I got bad grades or did something wrong, they'd yell and scream at me. They called me a liar. When people would come to visit, they'd introduce my brother as their son, the champion football player. They didn't even bother to call me out of my room. Sometimes when my mother thought I was lying to her, she'd slap me. They didn't care that I was depressed or that I didn't have any friends. They said we couldn't afford for me to go to a therapist...but they didn't mind buying my brother a car for his graduation. I was their embarrassment. It was in their attitude, the looks they gave me, the words they said. My father was never around, because he was always busy. And my mother was always angry. I couldn't stay there anymore, or I would've killed myself. I told my mother that once and she told me to go to my room, that she didn't want to hear my stupid stories." Anton bowed his head. "I didn't know it was that bad. I mean, I knew it was bad, but to her say it put a whole new spin on it." Mulder raised his eyebrow. "And you didn't ask?" Anton shook his head. "Why?" "I had hoped she trusted me enough to tell me on her own." She let out an unamused laugh. "Like you? Because you're so open about everything?" "Are you, Anton?" "No," he admitted. "There are things that I have a hard time talking to her about." "And you feel Bryn that makes it okay for you to withhold things from Anton. Because he's not been open with you about things in his past." "No. I'm saying that if he expects that much from me, he should be willing to do the same...never mind. Just forget I said anything." "Actually, I think we're on to something here," Mulder said. "Or you wouldn't be getting so defensive. What hit a nerve?" She glanced at Anton, then quickly looked away. "He doesn't like talking to me about his past, as if he's got some big secret to hide. And then he talks to me about how I should trust him enough to tell him about my life? Why should I when he doesn't trust me?" "Let's assume for a minute that he tells you everything--would you tell him about your past then?" "I guess so..." "You guess so?" Her lips quivered for a moment. "I don't want him to know how much people hated me, because I--I'm afraid that he'll realize they were right, and he'll hate me, too." "Bryn," Anton said softly. He put his hand on her thigh. "That would never happen." "Why, Anton?" Mulder asked. He turned slightly on the couch, knees now pointing towards her. "Because I love her too much." "Her parents loved her," Mulder pointed out. "I'm not like them," he said softly. "How could she possibly know that for sure, when she was taught by her parents that love is very conditional and it leaves when you do something wrong? Bryn, have you ever been loved unconditionally?" "My brother...to some extent." "What do you mean?" "He didn't like me when we were little. He always picked on me." "But you had his support afterwards? That must have been hard to accept as genuine." She shook her head. "He was telling the truth." "If you made a huge mistake, do you think he'd love you anyway?" "Yes." "Then why don't you believe the same from your husband?" "Because he wasn't there...he didn't see it. He could never know for sure if I was really telling the truth." "It's hard to take that risk Bryn. But you must have believed it somewhat, or else you wouldn't have married him. Or," Mulder added. "You were using him to escape from your parents." Anton tensed slightly. That thought hadn't occurred to him before. His denial that she wouldn't have done that died on his lips. He needed hear her to say it. "That's not fair, and it's not true! I already had escaped my parents. I was safe at my brother's house, and I never had to see them again if I didn't want to. I had my own space. My parents never even came down to visit. I married Anton because I love him, and I have since the day I met him. He's my best friend, and he doesn't...lie to me." Anton gently squeezed her thigh. Mulder continued, reinforcing the point Bryn had just made. "So Anton doesn't lie to you. And he's told you, repeatedly that he loves you unconditionally, and will never leave you." He waited for Bryn to nod. "So is he lying to you when he says that?" She placed her hand over Anton's, sliding her fingers together with his. "No. I know he believes he's telling me the truth. But sometimes the way we feel isn't in our control. Even though we mean well, things can still change. I don't believe my parents ever consciously chose to stop loving me--things just happened to change how they felt." "And what do you think could happen to change how he feels about you?" Mulder leaned forward a bit resting his elbows on his thighs. "I heard Anton tell Jess the other day that one of his wives became pregnant by someone else and left him. Not the other way around. So why would he treat you any differently?" She turned to look at Anton, frowning. "You told them that?" "I told Jess that," Anton said. "I believe Mr. Mulder was in the hallway when I said that, 'manhandling' Jess' oldest Boston fern, as she put it." She let out an annoyed grunt. "That wife was me, Mr. Mulder. I've been all of Anton's wives, even though I don't really remember all of it. And I couldn't tell you how he treated me then, because I don't know. I just know he was very angry, and he scared me, and I left. But that doesn't really matter, because that wasn't what I was talking about. I control whether or not I have an affair, and I'm not going to. I'm not interested in other men. What I was talking about is things beyond our control. Accidents we have no choice in, things other people do to us." "We do have some control, Bryn. How we choose to react. Anton chose to get angry at you in this past life. And you chose to leave him then. Neither of you could control the other's reactions, but are only responsible for your actions." Mulder sat back some. "Did you try to make your parents love you again? And got more and more frustrated when they didn't?" "Yes. Is this supposed to be making me feel better? Because it's not working." "True self examination is never comfortable, Bryn." Mulder checked the clock on the wall. "But I think we've done for tonight. "We're off to a good start, and I want the both of you to think about what we discussed. Let's meet the same time tomorrow, and we'll discuss this more. And maybe talk about some of the things Anton has been holding back." "Wonderful," Anton muttered under his breath. As much as he didn't like the idea, he would do it. For Bryn. Bryn gave him a sympathetic smile, squeezing his hand. Seeing that Max had fallen asleep, she carefully picked him up from her lap and then settled him on the blanket next to her. "Can we walk you out, Mr. Mulder?" "No, thanks. I'll see myself out. And I'll see both of you tomorrow night." They all said their good-byes as Mulder headed out of the room and then out the door. Relieved that it was over, at least for now, Bryn turned and planted herself in Anton's lap. She hugged him tightly, letting her anxiety and tense muscles melt away with each passing second. "I love you so much. Please don't let go of me." "Never, Bryn." He kissed her forehead, hugging her tight against him. "I love you and am so proud of you for facing your fears and talking about it." He tilted her head up, so she could look into his eyes. "And I'm never going to let you go. Never ever." He ran one hand up and down the curve of her spine as he kissed her lightly, not certain how far she wanted to take things. She kissed him back with soft lips, caressing the side of his face with her thumb. After a moment, she pulled back to look at him, memorizing his face, staring into the dark coffee color of his eyes. "I--I hope this doesn't sound..." She paused, biting her lip. "I'm not sure how to say this without it sounding like I'm trying to please you, because I'm not." Leaning closer to him, she whispered in his ear, "I believe you, Anton. I believe you'll love me forever." Anton gently stroked her hair. He turned his head, running his nose over her cheek as he pulled back to look at her. "And I believe you, Bryn." He softly kissed her lips, pulling her tighter on his lap. She met his mouth with growing passion, tightly gripping his shoulders. "I'm so sorry...I don't know...what's wrong with me." She sucked lightly on his lower lip. "I love you." Sliding her fingers into his hair, she explored his mouth with her tongue. Moaning softly when he sucked her in deeper. Just as she was about to start unbuttoning his shirt, she forced herself to slow down. "How was your night, sugar?" Anton gave a quiet chuckle. "It's had it's ups and downs. Work was quiet, but then I wasn't particularly paying attention since I knew what was happening here." He gently ran his hands over her shoulders and up and down her arms. "How was your night, Bryn?" "Anxious," she said, enjoying his touch. "I knew what was coming and I couldn't sit still...so I went to the store and bought three cartons of ice cream, a magazine, and pinwheel for Max." She leaned forward and kissed his chin. "I'm so glad that stupid session is over, and you're home." Hugging him tightly, she murmured, "Mostly I'm happy to feel better about us, even if I do feel like an idiot for not believing you before." He smiled. "It's okay, Bryn. The important thing is that you believe now, and that you are feeling better." He looked over at Max, who was sound asleep, fist curled in his sleeper. "What do you say we go put Max in his crib, and we can spend the rest of the evening showing each other how happy we are now." She nodded, a grin spreading across her face. Carefully moving off his lap, she stood up and pulled him to his feet. She felt a little like she was seeing him for the first time, even though she knew him so well. Staring up in admiration, keenly aware of his height, she stood up on her tiptoes and kissed his lips, her hands sliding over his well-defined chest. She hugged him tightly once again, shivering in delight at the feel of his arms around her. Being held by Anton had to be one of the best feelings in the whole world. He grinned down at her and stooped slightly, putting his arms around waist. He lifted her up so their heads were even. Something had changed between them for the better he sensed. And he was glad that she feeling better. He kissed her lips, slipping his tongue into her mouth. She tasted delicious. She wrapped her legs around his waist, taking some of the strain off his arms. Kissing him, she felt her eyes filling with tears...unrestrainable joy and relief spilling over her cheeks like molten glass. Shuddering lightly, she pulled back to look at his face, smoothing the worry lines away, and smiling at him. "How can one person possibly be this wonderful? I feel like you've turned my whole world into springtime. I could never possibly thank you enough for loving me the way you do." "And I feel the same way, my dear. You are my sunshine, with eyes the color of the noontime sky. I lived in darkness until saw you." He squeezed her tighter against his body. "And if you'll let me, I'll make you my sunshine forever." He kissed her again, sighing happily. "Let's put Max to bed now," he suggested with half hooded eyes. She reluctantly agreed and let herself slide down his body, whimpering softly at the friction they created. "I would love to be your sunshine forever...and your pirate queen." She grinned at him. Picking up Max, she settled the baby against her shoulder. "But you do realize that this means you'll be my sugar booger for all eternity." He smiled broadly at her. "I can live with that." Putting an arm around her shoulder, he guided her upstairs to Max's room. He kissed Max's forehead before Bryn lowered him into the crib. Putting his arm around Bryn's waist, he pulled her closer to his side. Everything felt perfect to him right now. There were a dozen little problems he could name, but they didn't matter. He loved Bryn, and she loved him, and nothing would ever change that. Stroking her hand over Max's back, she was struck again by how much he looked like Anton. The shape of his face, his mouth and nose. With her eyes, hair color, and smile. Looking back at Anton, she smiled widely at him. "There's something I want to tell you, and I want you to take me perfectly seriously. Remembering all of the things you grew up with, and what you worried about when I was pregnant." She wrapped her arms around his waist. "You are a wonderful father, Anton, and if my father had been even half as good to me as you are to Max, I would've been the luckiest kid around." Eyes misting slightly, Anton didn't know what to say other than, "Thank you." He just tightened his grip around her and leaned down to kiss her. He gently pulled on her upper lip, nibbling lightly as his hand started to travel slowly down her back. He backed off for a moment to whisper. "Shall we head to our room?" "Yes..." She followed as he started to back towards the door, still tightly gripping his shirt. Her mind barely registered the lights flicking off as they passed through the door. He'd mesmerized her...or maybe it was the other way around. "I want you so much." Instead of letting him pull her close to his body, she pushed him down on the bed, climbing up after him, claiming his mouth as she covered his body with hers. [Oh sugar, love me. Love me forever.] He stretched out underneath her, all his muscles going lax, except for one. He kissed her wantonly, deeply, as if he were suffocating and she were oxygen. His hands slid under her T-shirt, relishing the smooth feeling of her skin. Moaning slightly, he rolled over so that she was pinned beneath him, his growing erection firmly pressed against her groin. Grabbing the hem of her shirt, he slowly peeled it off of her, his pupils dilating at what was revealed. She reached for him again, lazily kissing his mouth. "Slow down, my love. I want to remember this moment for the rest of my life." She slid her thumb over his lower lip, smiling brilliantly. "Oh Anton...you're so beautiful you take my breath away." "And you do mine," he whispered. He settled down beside her, cupping her cheek. "I sometimes don't get enough air when I'm around you." He gently kissed her temple, and his hand slipped down to rest against her sternum, his finger lightly tracing the pulse in her neck. "I can barely look at you sometimes, Bryn. Your beauty is more blinding than the sun." [He's my best friend, and he doesn't lie to me.] Those had been her own words, and she believed every bit of truth therein. She felt beautiful in his gaze. Truthfully, it wouldn't have mattered if she was really as ugly as a shrew--the way he loved her made her beautiful, and the way she loved him made her even more so. She smiled at him again, unable to stop. Leisurely sliding her hand up the front of his shirt, she held his gaze as she popped open button after button. "I miss you so much when you're not here. Sometimes I wish I could just crawl into the hamper so I could have your scent all around me. I've worn your clothes so many times...even your underwear." Anton raised his eyebrows. "Really?" His hand slid a little lower, so he was now cupping her breast, fingers curling around her nipple. "That sounds incredibly sexy, my dear." He leaned back down and nipped at her earlobe. "One day when I have to meet with a client or a supplier, and I have to wear a suit, would you slip a pair of your panties into my pocket? Something to carry around with me all night and touch?" She shuddered, tingling from head to toe. Slipping her hand under his open shirt, she lightly scraped her nails over his ribs. "Mmm...of course. Would you like me to wear them first, or would that be going too far? I do want you to be able to walk, after all." "I may not be able to walk right now, my dear." He slowly brushed his thumb over her nipple. "But fortunately, I'm not planning to go anywhere right now." He kissed her cheek and then started to work his way towards her mouth. Bryn pushed herself into his touch, meeting his mouth and sucking firmly on his tongue. She let her hand trace down his flat stomach and onto his jeans, carefully tugging open the button and lowering the zipper. Pulling back from his kiss with an audible sucking sound, she glanced down at his open pants and the erection that was trying to break free from his boxers. She lightly slid the tip of her finger up the underside of his cock, her breath catching at how rigid he felt. "Does it hurt when you get that hard? Sometimes my nipples hurt with they get hard." "Yes, it can hurt somewhat. And your touch is the only thing that can soothe me." The and on her breast stared to move in firmer strokes. "But the ache is worth it." He nuzzled her cheek and then kissed her, slipping his tongue into her mouth. He sucked on her tongue, and rolled a little more directly on top of her. Quivering beneath him, she pushed his shirt off his shoulders and worked it off his arms one by one. His naked body always excited her, but this time she could barely breathe as she moved her hands over his flesh. She could feel the powerful muscles of his back and ass, and she couldn't wait to feel him pounding inside of her. Her nipple was starting to leak, and was becoming painfully hard like she'd described. Deciding to return the favor, she pushed her hands between them, rolling both nipples at once, in opposite directions, with her thumbs. Anton let out a pleased rumble. He nudged her legs apart with his. He continued to kiss and suck at her mouth until he felt the moisture under his fingers. He looked down, giving Bryn a lazy smile. "Are they hurting now? Do you want me to make them feel better?" Without waiting for her answer, he bent down and licked around her areola. "Oh God, yes..." She arched her back, pushing herself against his mouth. Shaking almost continuously now, she used her bare feet to tug on his jeans, trying to pull them down his legs, but having very little luck. Pushing them down as far as she could with her hands, she spread her legs beneath him. With a slightly devious smile, she wrapped her hand around his cock. "Is your cock hurting, sugar, because I know lots of ways to make it feel better." Anton let out a pained groan. "It aches for you, Bryn," he whispered. His fingers lightly traced down her stomach, circling around her belly button to undo the button of her black jeans. "What are you going to do to make it feel better?" Agonizingly slow, he unzipped her jeans and slipped his fingers under the waistband of her panties, just barely brushing her pubic hair. "I can't wait anymore, Anton. I want you inside me. I'm aching for you, too. I feel so empty." She whimpered at the light brush of his fingers, hurriedly pushing his boxers down his hips. "God...I need you inside me, so I can squeeze you...it feels so good to wrapped so tightly around your cock. I could lay there for hours, just squeezing you and sucking on you as we both cum over and over again..." Anton, moaning at the mental image her words painted, also busied himself stripping off her panties. He crawled between her legs, positioning himself to enter her. "You ready to do that Bryn? Because I'm aching for you," he whispered as he pushed slowly inside of her. "Mmmph...uh!" He never seemed to stop pushing, filling her fuller than he had before. She bit down on his shoulder, clutching him tightly, spreading her legs to let him go as deep as he could. "Oh, sugar...it's so good." She pulled back slightly and started kissing his face, over and over again. "I love you so much...ooh, my love...please, sugar, roll on to your back, I want on top of you." Holding her tight against his body, he rolled over, grunting as she resettled on top of him. Bracing his feet against the mattress, he started pumping his hips, getting as deep in side of her as he could. "So beautiful," he said, watching her breasts bob in time with her movements. His hands squeezed her waist. She couldn't keep quiet to save her life. Moaning and whimpering, she rocked back and forth in a steady rhythm, barely releasing her grip on him. She loved watching his face as he watched her, seeing the desire and lust in his features...and the love, too. No one could miss that. Needing to see them together, she braced herself on one arm, leaning over him, and gripped the base of his cock, watching his slick shaft move in out of her as she rode him. "Ohh--ohhh! Your cock feels so good, baby..." Anton groaned, pulling her down tight onto his crotch. This was different from how they normally made love - she was being more aggressive. And he liked it. He was panting heavily, arching beneath her. "You...feel....wonderful...Bryn!" Sabryn wrapped herself tightly around him, her ass flexing as she tilted her hips back and forth. She could feel a scream working its way up her throat, her clit vibrating against him, and as she tightened down on his cock, she let out a wail that would've made the werewolves proud. Her rippling orgasm milked his cock until he was jetting his semen into her. Anton let out a cry of his own before everything went slack beneath her. Breathing returning to normal, he caught Bryn behind the shoulders and lowered him down against him, nuzzling the top of her head. "That was amazing, my dear. I can still hear your yell." Then he realized he was hearing yell, but not the echoes of hers. Max was awake, and wanted their attention. "Oh, no...he couldn't have picked a worse time to wake up," she mumbled, her cheek plastered to his sweaty chest. "I don't want to move. This feels too good." She was still squeezing him, although not nearly as tightly as before. Reluctantly, she lifted her head to meet his gaze. "I'll go get him. Thank you, sugar, that was really excellent." He kissed her lightly. "No, thank you, my dear." He sat up as Bryn climbed out of the bed, smiling as she grabbed a robe. Something was different. That much he could tell already. And it was a change for the better. Giggling, she hurriedly back to her side of the bed, grabbed a tissue, and blotted at her inner thighs. "I think I got a little too excited earlier," she said, smirking. Tossing the tissue in the garbage, she hurried to Max's room to get there before her breasts started leaking. The moment she turned on the light, Max stopped crying, lifting his head up to look for her. His face was red and wet, and she let out a sympathetic "aww." "Hi sweet pea. Do we need to change your diaper?" She lifted him up out of the crib, noticing that he immediately tried to latch on to her breast. "Just a minute, Max, you've got a wet diaper." She quickly went about changing him, anxious to get back to the bed and Anton. She didn't think she'd stopped smiling since they were downstairs. Anton stretched out on the bed, and then grabbed his robe. He was still puzzling over the change in Bryn's attitude. She had said now that she believed him when he said he wouldn't leave her. And if actions spoke louder than words, she was screaming it from the rooftops. He hoped that he'd be able to keep up with her. She'd taped the new diaper in place and tossed the old one in the pail. Picking up Max, she pulled his pajama bottoms back into place. "Okay sweetie, now you can eat." Pushing her robe aside, she let him latch on to her nipple as she settled into the rocking chair. His loud grunts and sucking sounds filled the room as she gently began rocking him back and forth. Noticing movement in her peripheral vision, she looked up to see Anton standing in the doorway. She smiled softly at him. "Hi." "Hi." Anton smiled back and walked over to where she was sitting. He leaned over the arm of the chair watching Max nurse. "He shut up awfully quickly." "He was wet and hungry." "No wonder he was crying. He was awfully quiet when Mr. Mulder was here." He glanced up at Bryn, not certain how to bring up the next part. "You had something of a revelation while talking to him, right?" "Yeah, I guess so." She held his gaze, a small frown creasing her forehead. "Why do you look so worried by that?" He almost bluffed an answer, but she had said that he wasn't open with her. "I just don't understand," he said. "I don't understand why saying that you believe me to a stranger made it true." He didn't want to hurt her, but he had to say it. "Why you couldn't say it to me first." She opened her mouth to say something, but the words didn't seem to matter as she looked at his face. He was hurt, still, uncertain of whether to trust her or not. And she couldn't blame him. Her voice quiet, she said, "I'm sorry, Anton. I should've said it to you first. I should have told you...but I didn't--" She dipped her head slightly. "I didn't understand what I was feeling until I started talking about my life. "Do you remember when I said that you weren't there, that you weren't at my abduction, so you couldn't possibly love me? I never knew that was the reason. I spent my life with no one believing me about that night, so I never expected that anyone ever could. I know you told me a long time ago that you believed me about being abducted, but deep down I think I told myself that you were just telling me what I wanted to hear. It was so hard to believe that someone *could* believe me. The same way it was so hard to believe that you really loved me unconditionally and would never leave. Although I wanted those things more than anything, I wouldn't let myself give in because I thought I would feel that pain again. I'd do anything not to hurt like that again. It wasn't until I made the connection between those two things, and I said it out loud, that I realized how stupid I was being." "That makes sense, Bryn. It's silly for me to feel this way. For me to be jealous because you said that to someone else first. It's enough that you believe me now." He leaned against the chair, resting his head against the arm of the chair. "For some reason, I was feeling insecure when he was here. Forgive me, my dear?" She used her hand to lift his chin, indicating to him to sit up so she could hug him. Careful not dislodge Max, she wrapped her free arm around Anton's neck and pressed her head against his, hugging him tightly. "There's nothing for me to forgive. And it's not silly for you to feel this way." She blinked rapidly, tears welling up in her eyes. "I was so wrong to treat you the way I did. It was completely unfair to you, because you were only trying to love me. I can't even imagine how much that must've hurt you." She turned her head slightly to kiss his jaw, lingering there. "I'm so sorry, Anton. I love you so much, and it breaks my heart to know that I've hurt you. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me, my love?" He turned his head so his lips were barely brushing hers. "I already have, my dear." He lightly kissed her lips repeatedly. He gently cupped his hand around her head, cradling its weight. Resting his head on her shoulder, he looked down at Max. "I think he's almost fallen back asleep." She nodded, gently stroking her hand over Anton's hair. Kissing his forehead, she closed her eyes. Part of her wanted to keep beating herself up, to punish herself for hurting him...but a greater majority of her knew that Anton truly did forgive her. And he loved her, and always would. Leaning down further, she kissed his mouth once more before lifting her arm over his head so she could use both hands to hold and burp her son. Max let out a small cry for being disturbed, but quickly settled against her shoulder, content to stare at Daddy. Anton reached out and caught one of Max's hands in his own, running his thumb over his soft skin. Max was still so small, even though he had been growing nonstop since he was born. Still very much a miracle. And he looked at the woman who had given him that miracle. So beautiful, so loving, and his. Forever. It seemed to take forever before Max finally burped. He smiled afterwards, making them both grin. Bryn kissed him on the head, and then handed him over to Anton. "I don't know if he needs any blood, but you can put him to bed even if he doesn't." Carefully cradling Max against his chest, Anton stood up. "I don't think he does," Anton said as Max closed his eyes again, his hand fisting in Anton's robe. Swaying slightly, he walked to the crib and kissed Max on his forehead before putting him down. He then turned back to Bryn and offered her his hand. She slipped her hand into his, hanging on tightly. Her robe hanging open, she followed him back to their bedroom, turning off the light as she passed, patting Petunia as the dog wandered out in the hall to investigate. "Between this dog and Max, we're going to need a new house if they keep growing so fast." As they stepped inside of the bedroom, Anton halted her, pulling her back against his body. "And then we'll need an even bigger one when you get pregnant again." He brushed the hair away from her neck and leaned down to nibble below her jaw. "Bryn, I'm not hurrying you to get pregnant again, am I? We could wait a little while, give Max some time to grow before giving him a brother or sister." She slid her hands over his chest. "You're not hurrying me. I don't want to wait. Waiting makes me nervous. Besides, as much as I complained about it, I really did like being pregnant. I miss being able to feel Max moving, and wondering what he was going to look like. And...I liked all of the attention, mostly from you. You made me feel very precious. In fact, you still do." She kissed his chest. "Thank you." His lips traveled lower down her neck, nipping at where it joined her shoulder. "You are very precious, my dear." He put his arms around her waist and lifted her up, grinning as she wrapped her legs around his midsection. "In fact, let me show you how precious you are." Kissing her mouth and pulling on her lips, he started to walk towards the bed. She curled her fingers in the collar of his robe, hanging on tightly. She was grateful that it was still early, and the shutters were open, so she could see his face as he lowered her to the bed and settled on top of her. Sliding her legs together with his, she traced the arch of her foot over his calf muscles. Meeting his kiss with equal fervor, groaning softly as he sucked on her tongue. It would forever amaze her how he managed to make her so hungry for him, wanting his body, his passion, his love...and acceptance. He was her perfect mate, and it was unfathomable to her that she ever thought that could end. He pushed her robe to the side, wanting to feel her bare skin beneath him. She felt so perfect beneath him, or above him for that matter. His hands cradled her head, holding her close, breathing in when she exhaled. Becoming one with her. "My love," he whispered. She drew closer, until her lips were barely touching his. Staring deep into his dark eyes. "Mine." She kissed him, eyes open, trapping his upper lip between hers, nibbling lightly. "Always mine." Extending her tongue, she traced the tip up the center of his upper lip, over and over again, until he captured her and sucked her tongue into his mouth once more. She let out a giggle against his lips, before pulling back once more. "Why don't you teach me something new?" "Okay," he breathed. He thought a moment while he pulled the robe out from under her body. Hands resting on her breasts, thumbs barely teasing her nipples, he kissed her again. "I want you to roll over onto your stomach and one leg bent. I think you're going to like it," he said, kissing the hollow of her throat. She let out a small laugh. "What haven't I liked that we tried...well, other than that time I hung upside down and almost passed out...and then there was the threesome, but I liked that at the time..." She closed her mouth, looking sheepish. "I'll just shut up now and roll over." She didn't miss him shaking his head as she turned over onto her belly. Seeking to lightly tease him, she pushed her ass up towards him, but as she felt his cock nudge against her, she was the one who felt teased. "Mmmm..." She glanced over her shoulder at him. "Is it hurting now, because it sure feels hard enough." He leaned down over her to whisper in her ear. "I always ache for you, Bryn." Panting, he pushed his cock inside of her as he traced his tongue around the shell of her ear. "How about your nipples, my dear. Do they ache?" "Yessss...." she hissed. "Then I better do something to make them feel better." He slipped a hand under her body, wiggling it until he was cupping her breast. He lightly squeezed as he began thrusting. She moaned softly, rubbed against the mattress by the weight of his body. Reaching one hand behind her, she grabbed his ass, enjoying the feeling of his muscles bunching under her fingers. "Have you...ever gotten so...turned on that you had to...touch yourself at work? Sometimes...mmm...I do that here...when you're gone." "Yessss..." he hissed in her ear. "And there's been a few times when I've almost embarrassed myself in front of employees coming into my office unexpectedly." He continued to thrust and rub her breast. "Have you...uhh...thought about calling me at work?" She shuddered at the image he put in her head. Someday she'd have to show up at the warehouse and surprise him. "I'll call the next time...I promise." She laced her free hand together with his, squeezing his fingers. Tightening her sex around him, she shivered at the delicious little tingles they'd created. "Tell me. Tell me what you think about when you're touching yourself." "Your eyes, your lips, your hair..." Anton's voice and breathing got heavier as he continued on his list. "Your skin, your fingers, your navel, your breasts..." His thrusts became more forceful and he worked his hands between her legs. "Your nipples, your clit, your sex..." He began to shake, his muscles clenching spasmodically. "Your scent, your slickness, your love..." Her toes were curling. She was pretty sure her hair was curling too. Wrapping her foot over his calf, she tightened down even harder around his cock, feeling him scoot her across the bed with his thrusts. "Oh God, Anton...you get me so hot when you talk to me like this..." The mere brush of his finger over her clit made her squeal, and she shook violently as she climaxed around his cock. Anton shook, gaping as he came deep inside of her. Moaning softly, he collapsed on top of her, pinning her to the bed. After a few minutes, he gently stroked along her arm, lightly kissing her ear. He felt like he was floating, warm despite the slight shiver from the sweat cooling on his back. She melted beneath him, more than warm. As he pulled his hand out from under her, she interlaced her fingers with his, squeezing both of his hands. "Mmm, that was really nice." She turned her head to kiss his arm. "I'm glad you think about me when you're at work. I think about you a lot. I always miss you when you're gone. You're my inescapable addiction. And I wouldn't want to escape you, anyway." "Good, because you're stuck with me, now and forever." He kissed her ear again. "I love you so much, Bryn. And I will for all time." She grinned widely. "I know." Wiggling out from under him, she settled next to him and wrapped her arms around his waist. "I love you so much, too." Leaning forward, she softly kissed his mouth. "I would really love it if you just got me pregnant. But even if you didn't, it's not a loss because we'll have plenty of time to keep practicing." She smiled, snuggling closer. "Sugar, will you take me to the warehouse sometime and hold my hand, and kiss me in front of everyone? I would love it if they all knew exactly how much we love each other." "Of course, my dear." He lightly brushed his lips across her forehead. "But then the problem is that I'll want to do more than just kiss and we'll have to sneak up to my office...or face a sexual harassment suit." He gently stroked her shoulders, enjoying the feel and smell of her skin, and just being with her. She pressed her lips to his throat, then remained tucked against his body with her head under his chin. "I love it when you're affectionate with me. When you hold my hand. And when you keep me close to you, like you're warning other guys to back off. I was so jealous of the girls in school that had that, that had boyfriends." She was quiet for a moment, forcing herself to keep from getting emotional. "Anton, I want you to be my boyfriend. I never had that and I feel like I missed a lot." His arm went around her waist, and a leg over her calf, tucking her in even closer. He gently stroked her the small of her back, his head cocked to one side. "I'm not exactly sure what you mean, my dear. I thought you didn't like it when I was overly possessive." She looked up at him, brow furrowed. "I never said that. And if I implied it, I must've been teasing you. I love it when you're possessive. I always have." Rubbing her hand over his chest, she then leaned forward and kissed him. Anton kissed her back, his hand cradling her head. "My mistake then." He gently stroked her back and shoulders. He nuzzled her cheek. "And you can feel free to be as possessive of me as you want." She let out a small laugh. "That's a dangerous proposition, Anton. I may just handcuff you to me." She reached up to stroke his cheek, seeing such beauty in his familiar face that she knew she'd have to paint him someday. "You're already so many things to me. Will you be my boyfriend, too?" "Yes, my dear. Of course." Anton gave her a crooked grin. "Although the option of being handcuffed to you sounds very appealing." He kissed her forehead. "So what exactly would my duties as your boyfriend be?" "I don't know, I've never had one before. I guess you would take me out on dates, and give me hickeys, let me wear your coat, hold my hand, kiss me a lot...and brag to all your friends that you got laid last night." She giggled. "Although, that last part isn't necessary." "Oh, I could do that as well." He gently cupped her face. "Although I could get started on two of those now." Thumb stroking her cheekbone, he kissed her before trailing his lips down to just below her jaw and began to suck on her skin, raising a small bruise. She swallowed heavily, gripping his shoulder. "Mmm...that feels nice." Smiling as he pulled back to look at her face, she said, "This feels weird, not having anything to worry about. I'm a little out of my element, I think. I guess I'll have to start worrying about smaller things now. Like whether or not you'd let me paint you sometime?" Anton raised his eyebrow. '"Would that be paint me as in a portrait of me, or a portrait on me?" He kissed her forehead as she giggled. "Of course my dear. What did you have in mind?" "I don't know...you're just so beautiful that it would be a total shame if no one ever caught your image on canvas. I don't think I'd ever sell it, but I don't have that in mind anyway. This is just for us, for me, because I love you so much...and if I could, I'd paint you on every wall I see." His eyes misted over. At a loss for words to express the depth of his love, and how much her idea touched him, he kissed her long and hard and deep. he held her tight against his body, threading his fingers through her hair. She shuddered lightly, hanging on to him just as tightly. Breathless by the time the kiss ended, she met his gaze and lifted her eyebrows. "Wow." She licked her lips. "Yeah, that's about all I can think to say right now. Wow." He grinned back, a bit breathless himself. "That about sums up my thoughts as well." He kissed her forehead. "I don't know about you, but I'm a bit hungry, my dear. how about we go downstairs and get a bite to eat?" "Sounds good to me." She scrambled off the bed and reached for him, helping to pull him to his feet. She continued to hold his hand all the way to the kitchen, enjoying being with him like this. As much as she loved Max, she missed being alone with Anton--having him all to herself, able to do and say whatever she wanted. Being able to plaster herself to his back as he stared in the fridge, teasing him with her nipples while she squeezed his ass with both hands. "I swear you have the cutest butt in the whole world. Sometimes I just want to bite it." Anton grinned, pushing himself back into her hands. "So why don't you?" Trying to provoke her, he leaned forward under the pretense of getting a closer look at the food on a lower shelf. She grinned, certain he thought she wouldn't do it. Slowly lowering herself behind him, deliberately taking her time, she let him feel the warmth of her breath against his skin. Just after he shot her a grin over his shoulder, she moved in like a shark and bit into his left cheek. Hard enough to leave a red ring on his flesh. He let out a yelp, dropping the bowl of potato salad he was holding. He half turned to look at her, an surprised grin on his face. "I didn't think you'd actually do that Bryn!" She licked her lips. "I told you so." She lifted her fingers to the mark she'd made, partly wishing it would leave a bruise. "Now you've got a pink circle on your butt. If I bit you two more times, I could make a bullseye." She lifted an eyebrow. "Or I could just do this," she said, letting her fingers drift south to firmly massage his balls from below. "Mmmm..." He held still, letting Bryn caress him. He was a bit surprised to feel himself stiffening again. But then he was surprised at the reactions Bryn could provoke. Her fingers felt warm against his balls, contrasting sharply with the cold air coming from the refrigerator. His voice was a bit shaky and thick with desire when he spoke, especially when she scratched the inside of his thighs lightly. "Do you want anything to eat, Bryn? Or should I close the door?" "I thought I already had something to eat?" she asked, before nibbling at his right cheek. She giggled as he closed the door, leaning against it. Standing up behind him, she pressed herself against his body once more, fitting herself tightly to him, tickling his ass with her pubic hair. She pressed her lips to his shoulder and slid her hand around his hip, scratching her nails through his own pubic hair before grasping his cock and lightly pumping it. Whispering, she said, "You turn me on so much. I can't stop touching you. I don't even want to." "And I don't want you to." He lightly thrust against her hand. Reaching behind him, he stroked her lower back, cupping her ass. "I love it when you touch me, Bryn. I love touching you too." He squeezed her cheek, jumping when the hand on his cock tightened in response. She rubbed her nose against his spine, lightly kissing his vertebrae. "I want you, sugar. I want to make you cum so hard you see stars. I want to taste you and fuck you senseless." She nipped at his shoulder. "And maybe if you're lucky, I'll bite you again." He held still as she nipped at his shoulders and continued to stroke his cock. Slowly he started to follow the motions of her hand with his hips. He ducked his head back over his shoulder to brush his lips across her cheek. "Here's hoping I get lucky." She gave him a little smile. "Come with me," she said quietly, taking his hand and leading him towards the couch. Once they were there, she pushed the coffee table out of the way. "Sit down." She encouraged him to sit down facing her, kneeling between his legs. "Close your eyes." Her hands on the pillows behind him, she leaned forward and slowly swirled her tongue around his nipple. "Mmm, you taste so good, sugar." He groaned, letting his head fall back on the couch. Lightly he rested his hands on her shoulders and began to stroke downwards to cup her breasts. He gently squeezed them, rubbing his thumbs over her nipples as well. "Mmmm." She shuddered against him, sucking his nipple into her mouth. Her hands slid across his shoulders, lightly massaging his muscles before she delicately scraped her fingernails down his pectorals. She could feel his erection trapped between their bodies, and squirmed to rub her stomach against him. Releasing his nipple with a pop from her mouth, she grinned at the sight of the glistening red flesh and then moved to give the same treatment to the other side. He groaned again, wiggling his hips more against her belly. He continued to squeeze her breast, and then lifted them, pressing her nipples more firmly against his palms. He rubbed against the outside of her thighs with his bare foot. Anton let out a pleased rumble. Kissing her way down his stomach, mouth open and tongue caressing him, she slid her fingers through the hair on his thighs, scratching with her fingernails. "Do you know that I could do this all day? Just stay with you, and worship you? Sometimes I imagine hiding under your desk at work and giving you the best blowjob you've ever had." She kissed him, with moist lips, on the head of his cock. "Would you like that?" "Yesssss..." he hissed. Anton's hands cradled the back of her head. His breathing grew more rapid as she swiped her tongue over the head of his cock, lapping away the bead of fluid forming there. He thrust his hips up, trying to get more firmly in contact with her, and whimpered when she pushed him back against the couch. Determined to draw this out and not give him too much contact on once, she pulled her mouth away from him. She gently cupped and fondled his balls, rolling them lightly in her palm. Her fingers drew little circles on his perineum, barely touching him, with feather-light contact. She watched his face, smiling to herself at the frustration she saw there. He definitely wanted more, but he was going to have to wait to get it. Using only the tip of her tongue, she painted a wet swipe up the length of his cock from below. He squirmed, wriggling his hips against her grip. Her fingers continued to lightly touch him, despite his efforts for more contact. When he tried to move her head where he wanted her, she grabbed his wrists and forced them to his sides. Anton whimpered as Bryn began lapping at his balls. "Please, Bryn..." She looked up at him, eyebrow arched, and blew him a kiss. Grinning, she returned to her task. She did give him more contact on his cock, but only as she pressed it to his stomach, giving her more room to work. Inhaling deeply, moaning from the delicious smell, she lapped at his balls and finally sucked one into her mouth. She moaned again, pulling at him, tickling the underside with the back and forth sweep of her tongue. He squirmed, resisting the urge to grab her and force her mouth over his cock. He stared down at her as she gently tugged on the ball in her mouth, rolling it gently with her tongue. Giving up on trying to control the situation, he slid down a little lower on the couch, giving her easier access to him. "God, Bryn," he whispered softly. "I don't know how much more of this I can take..." She almost told him he'd have to bear it or she'd be forced to tie him up...but she realized that might make him explode quicker than anything. Nuzzling him, she let his testicle pop out of her mouth and moved to the other side. Sucking firmly at him, she scratched lightly at his inner thighs. Knowing she was driving him nuts, but that he'd love the end result. With a little more coaxing, he'd cum harder than he ever had before. He let his head fall back, concentrating on slowing down his breathing and trying to ignore the tingling in his groin. He bit the inside of his lip, trying to hold back his urge to thrust. He was squirming and whimpering almost continuously now, trying to urge her to move back to laving his cock with her tongue. She pulled back to watch him, biting her lip at the sounds he was making. He was flushed, his skin dewy with sweat, and couldn't seem to hold still to save his life. Deciding she'd denied him long enough, she lapped at his cock, licking up each and every side before sucking him into her mouth. With firm and even movements, she leisurely bobbed her head up and down the length of him, just waiting for his climax. Anton started thrusting, his moans becoming louder. The suction and heat and wetness on his cock was incredible. He gripped the couch cushions until his knuckles were white. He let out a half moan, half scream, he came hard, seeing stars and spots before his eyes. Limply, Jaw hanging open, he sank back against the couch, his eyes shut. "Bryn..." he whispered. She continued to lap at him for a moment, then sat back and rubbed his thighs in a soothing motion. She watched his chest rise and fall rapidly, becoming a bit slower as he fell back to earth. Eventually, as he opened his eyes and met her gaze, she gave him a slightly shy smile. "Hi." "Hi there yourself." He slipped his hands under her arms, pulling her up on his lap. Eyes still slightly muzzy, he kissed her lips gently, pulling on them lightly. Rubbing his hands up and down her back, nuzzled her neck, sighing softly. "You definitely kept your promise, my dear." She kissed him back, lingering with her lips against his flesh. "I kept part of it, anyway. I'm not done with you, yet. If you're up to it, that is." Before he could say it, she pressed her finger over his lips. "Yes, you'll have plenty of time to rest, first." She settled against his chest, her head on his shoulder. "Thank you for tonight, Anton. I really missed you. And I love being with you so much. I can't tell you how happy this makes me." "I love being with you too, my dear. And I missed being with you as well." He kissed her temple. "It's been rough, I know, taking care of Max, and it hasn't left us much time for...well, us. Thank you for tonight, Bryn. I love you, and hopefully we'll be able to steal time for ourselves more often as he gets older." She smiled, pushing back to meet his gaze. "What do you say we go upstairs and take a little nap? I'll sleep on top of you, and then when we wake up, I can take care of the rest of my promise." Anton grinned. "I'll make sure it's a short nap." He stretched at she climbed off of him, and then stood as well. "And after that, what do you say I return the favor?" She wrapped her arms around his waist, pressing a kiss to his chest. "You won't catch me complaining." End Chapter Eighty-six <- Previous Chapter | Home | Next Chapter ->